


Yellow Fever (4.06)

by ackles_ass_equation



Series: Superghetto [67]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol, Aliases, Buruburu, Canon Compliant, Canon Related, Dean Hallucinates, Donuts, Episode: s04e06 Yellow Fever, Fights, Ghost Sickness, Hallucinations, Impala, Law Enforcement, Samulet, Screenplay/Script Format, bobby's hats, emf, gank, iron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-22
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-08-10 10:11:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7840711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ackles_ass_equation/pseuds/ackles_ass_equation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam n' Dean rewind tha mysterious dirtnapz of nuff muthafuckin pimps whoz ass seemingly took a dirt nap of fright. Dean becomes infected wit it startin as anxiety then leadin ta a gangbangin' full-blown terror which endz up in dirtnap. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sam n' Bobby race against time ta save Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. NOW

EXT. ROAD-NIGHT

Dean is peeped hustlin on tha road, hearin growlin n' barkin noises behind his muthafuckin ass. Dude turns round a cold-ass lil corner, runs tha fuck into a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass hustlin cart n' falls ta tha ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude sees a homeless playa rummagin all up in a garbage bin.

**DEAN  
** Run! It'll bust a cap up in you, nahmean biiiatch, biatch? (pointing)

Camera pans away from Dean ta tha homeless dude, then ta a pink-ribboned Yorkie. Dean starts hustlin while shoutin all up in tha same time.

 


	2. ACT ONE

43 HOURS EARLIER

INT. MORGUE-DAY

Coroner opens a funky-ass body bag.

 **CORONER  
** Agent Tyler, Agent Perry, hook up Frank O'Brien.

 **SAM  
** Dude took a dirt nap of a ass attack, right?

 **CORONER  
** Three minutes ago.

 **SAM  
** But O'Brien was 44 muthafuckin years oldschool and, accordin ta dis ­ a marathon runner.

 **CORONER  
** All Y'all drops dead sooner or later n' shit. It aint nuthin but why I gots thang security.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah yo, but Frank kicked it here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Now, just yesterday, two perfectly healthy pimps bit it up in Maumee. All ass attacks, you don't be thinkin thatz strange?

 **CORONER  
** Soundz like Maumeez problem ta mah dirty ass. Whyz tha STD give a thugged-out damn, anyway?

 **DEAN  
** Us playas just wanna peep tha thangs up in dis biatch of Frankz autopsy.

 **CORONER  
** What autopsy?

 **DEAN  
** Da one you gonna do.

Coroner cuts open tha dead body.

 **CORONER  
** First dead body?

 **DEAN  
** Far from dat shit.

 **CORONER  
** Oh, good. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Because these suckers can git pretty ripe. Yo, hand mah crazy ass them rib cutters, would yo slick ass?

Sam takes a gangbangin' fortifyin breath while Dean picks up tha cuttas n' handz it ta tha Coroner n' shit. Coroner cuts tha ribs open while Sam keeps his dirty ass from squirming.

 **DEAN  
** Is dat from a weddin ring, biatch? I didn't be thinkin Frank was married.

 **CORONER  
** Ain't mah department.

 **SAM  
** Any scam how tha fuck he gots these, biatch? (picks up Frank’s arm which is full of scratches)

 **CORONER  
** Yo ass know what, biatch? When you drop dead, you straight-up tend ta drop. Body probably gots scraped up when it hit tha ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Huh!

 **SAM  
** What?

 **CORONER  
** I-I can't find any blockages up in any of tha major arteries.

Coroner breaks off tha ass while Dean tries not ta vomit.

 **CORONER  
** Heart looks pretty damn healthy. (Handz ass ta Dean) Hold dat a second, would yo slick ass, biatch? (Sam smirks on tha side)

Coroner cuts suttin' else up in tha body.

 **CORONER  
** (Hits Sam’s grill wit blood) Oh, sorry bout dat bullshit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Spleen juice. (Dean smirks)

INT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SHERIFF’S STATION-DAY

Sam & Dean chillin down up in front of Deputy’s desk, waiting. Deputy smilez at Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Sheriff opens his crib door.

 **SHERIFF  
** Hellz bells, Linus, have you peeped my.... Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is they, biatch? (Sam & Dean stands)

 **DEPUTY LINUS  
** Federal agents, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. I, uh....

 **SHERIFF  
** And you kept dem waiting?

 **DEPUTY LINUS  
** You, you holla'd not ta disturb.

 **SHERIFF  
** Come on back, fellas.

Sam & Dean strutt over ta Sheriff’s crib but Sheriff stops dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

 **SHERIFF  
** Shoes off.

Sam & Dean take they Nikes off n' strutt tha fuck into Sheriff’s crib.

 **SHERIFF BRITTON  
** Al Britton. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Dope ta hook up you, biatch. (shakes Dean & Sam’s hands)

 **SAM  
** Yo ass like a muthafucka.

Sheriff gestures fo' Sam & Dean ta sit tha fuck down.

 **SAM  
** Nuff props, biatch.

Sheriff takes up brew gel n' start slatherin his hands. Dean looks at Sam wit a weird look on his wild lil' face.

 **SHERIFF BRITTON  
** Okay. So, what tha fuck can I do fo' uncle Sam?

 **SAM  
** Well, our slick asses lookin tha fuck into tha dirtnap of Frank O'Brien. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. We KNOW some of your pimps found his body.

 **SHERIFF BRITTON  
** They done did. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Me n' Frank, we was playas. Hell, we was gamecocks.

Dean snickers. Sheriff gives his ass a stern look. Dean looks abashed.

 **SHERIFF BRITTON  
** Thatz our softbizzle crewz name. (Dean nods) They're majestic muthafuckas. I knew Frank since high school. To be honest, I just dis mornin gots up tha strength ta go peep his muthafuckin ass. Frank was...Dude was a phat man.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah. Big ass.

 **SAM  
** Before da ruffneck died, did you notice frank actin strange, biatch? Maybe scared of something?

 **SHERIFF BRITTON  
** Oh hell, yeah. Real jumpy.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass know what tha fuck scared him?

 **SHERIFF BRITTON  
** No. Wouldn't answer his thugged-out lil' phone. Finally, I busted a shitload of mah thugs over ta check on him, n' well, you know tha rest.

Sheriff starts n' pours brew gel on his handz again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Dean looks at Sam wit a what tha fuck “WTF?” look on his wild lil' face.

 **SHERIFF BRITTON  
** (Slatherin gel on his hands) So, why tha Fedz give a cold-ass lil crap, biatch? Yo ass don't straight-up be thinkin there be a a cold-ass lil case here?

 **DEAN  
** (Looks at Sam) Fuck dat shit, no. It aint nuthin but probably nothing. Just a ass attack.

EXT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM & DEAN WALKING - DAY

 **DEAN  
** No way dat was a ass attack.

 **SAM  
** Definitely no way. Three suckas, all wit dem same red scratches. All went from jittery ta terrified ta dead within 48 hours.

 **DEAN  
** Somethang scared dem ta dirtnap?

 **SAM  
** All right, so what tha fuck can do that?

 **DEAN  
** What can't, biatch? Ghosts, vampires, chupacabra, biatch? It could be a hundred thangs.

 **SAM  
** Yeah. So, we cook up a list n' start crossin thangs off.

 **DEAN  
** Alright, whoz tha last thug ta peep Frank O'Brien kickin it?

 **SAM  
** Uh, his neighbour, Mark Hutchins.

 **DEAN  
** (Seein suttin' ahead) Hang on, hang on.

 **SAM  
** What?

 **DEAN  
** (Facin Sam) I don't like tha lookz of dem teenagers down there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. (Sam looks around, sees teenagers poppin' off near tha Impala)

 **DEAN  
** Letz strutt dis way. (Crosses street while Sam standz wit a perplexed look on his wild lil' face)

INT. NEIGHBOUR’S HOUSE - DAY

 **MARK HUTCHINS  
** Tyla n' Perry. Just like Aerosmith.

Dean is lookin round tha room.

 **SAM  
** Yeah, lil' small-ass ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! So, tha last time you saw Frank O'Brien, biatch? (Dean sees a funky-ass big-ass lizard n' suddenly faces forward, swallowing)

 **MARK HUTCHINS  
** Monday, da thug was watchin me from his window. I waved at his ass yo, but he just closed tha curtains.

 **SAM  
** Hmm. did you drop a rhyme ta his ass recently, biatch? Did da perved-out muthafucka seem different, biatch? Uh, scared?

 **MARK HUTCHINS  
** Oh, straight-up yo. Dude was freakin out.

Sam looks at Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Dean looks freaked up like a muthafucka.

 **DEAN  
** Do you know, uh..do you know what tha fuck scared him?

 **MARK HUTCHINS  
** Well, yeah, witches.

 **SAM  
** Witches, biatch? (Sam & Dean peep each other) Like...?

 **MARK HUTCHINS  
** Well, "Wizard of Oz" was on tv tha other night, right, biatch? And da perved-out muthafucka holla'd dat chronic biiiatch was straight-up up ta git his muthafuckin ass.

 **SAM  
** Anythang else scare him?

 **MARK HUTCHINS  
** Everythang else scared his muthafuckin ass. Al-Qaeda, ferrets, artificial dopeener n' shit. Those pez dispensers wit they dead lil eyes. Lotz of stuff. (Dean looks round again n' again n' again all up in tha muthafuckas inside tha aquariums)

 **SAM  
** So, tell mah dirty ass. What was Frank like?

 **MARK HUTCHINS  
** I mean, da ruffneck dead, you know, biatch? I-I don't wanna hammer his ass but, he gots better.

 **SAM  
** Dude gots better?

 **MARK HUTCHINS  
** Well, up in high school da thug was, da thug was a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dick.

 **SAM  
** A dick?

 **MARK HUTCHINS  
** Like a funky-ass bully. I mean, he probably taped half tha townz booty cheeks together,

Dean snickers.

 **MARK HUTCHINS  
** Mine included.

 **DEAN  
** So he pissed a shitload of playas off. Yo ass be thinkin mah playas would have wanted ta git revenge?

 **MARK HUTCHINS  
** Well, I don't...Frank had a ass attack, right?

 **SAM  
** Just answer tha question, sir.

 **MARK HUTCHINS  
** Fuck dat shit, I don't be thinkin so. Like I holla'd, he gots mo' betta n' shit. And afta what tha fuck happened ta his hoe.

 **DEAN  
** His hoe, biatch? So da thug was married.

 **MARK HUTCHINS  
** She took a dirt nap bout 20 muthafuckin years ago. Frank was straight-up fucked up bout dat shit.

Dean starts starin all up in tha snake round Mark’s neck. Mark notices.

 **MARK HUTCHINS  
** Don't be scared of Donny. Dat punk a thugged-out dopeheart. It aint nuthin but Marie you gots ta stay locked n' loaded fo'. (Nodz ta couch) Biatch smells fear.

Albino snake creeps up from behind tha couch. Dean sees it n' gasps. Stays straight-up still while it crawls down his fuckin lap.

EXT. IMPALA-NIGHT

Dean is chillin up in tha hoopty readin while scratchin on his fuckin left arm. Sam opens passenger door n' climbs in.

 **SAM  
** Hey. Any luck all up in tha county clerkz office?

 **DEAN  
** I aint shizzle I'd call it luck. Frankz hoe, Jessie, was a manic-depressive. Biatch went off her medz back up in '88 n' vanished. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! They found her two weeks later, three towns over n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Strung up in her motel room, suicide.

 **SAM  
** Any chizzle Frank helped her along ta tha other side?

 **DEAN  
** Fuck dat shit, Frank was hustlin tha swin shift when her dope ass disappeared. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Airtight alibi. (Turns on car)

Ridin up in tha middle of town.

 **DEAN  
** How tha fuck was Frankz pad?

 **SAM  
** Clean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Searched it top ta bottom. No EMF, no hex bags, no sulphur.

 **DEAN  
** So probably no pimps, no witches, no demons.

 **SAM  
** Pfh...

 **DEAN  
** 3 down n' 97 ta bounce tha fuck out.

 **SAM  
** Yeah. (Sees speed Dean is rollin in) Dude, you goin 20.

 **DEAN  
** And?

 **SAM  
** Thatz tha speed limit.

 **DEAN  
** What, biatch? Safetyz a cold-ass lil crime now?

Drives all up in intersection, past they hotel.  


**SAM  
** Dude, where is you going, biatch? That was our hotel.

 **DEAN  
** Sam, I aint gonna cook up a left-hand turn tha fuck into oncomin traffic. I aint suicidal.

Sam gives Dean a cold-ass lil trippin look.

 **DEAN  
** Did I just say that, biatch? That was kind of weird.

EMF goes off up in tha background.

 **SAM  
** Do you hear something, biatch? (Takes up EMF meter, moves it from n' ta Dean where it cook up a sound)

 **DEAN  
** Am I hustled, biatch? Am I hustled?!


	3. ACT TWO

EXT. IN FRONT OF HOTEL-DAY

Sam is on tha beeper poppin' off ta Bobby. Hears noize from tha Impala n' strutts towardz dat shit. See Dean lyin on tha front seat bustin air beats ta Eye of tha Tiger n' shit. Bangs on tha roof of tha hoopty n' scares Dean.

 **DEAN  
** Dude. Look at all dis bullshit. (Shows scratches on arm)

 **SAM  
** I just talked ta Bobby.

 **DEAN  
** And, biatch? (Smells box of donuts n' throws tha fuck into car)

 **SAM  
** (Lookin perplexed at Dean ignorin tha donuts) Um, well, you not gonna like dat shit.

 **DEAN  
** What?

 **SAM  
** It aint nuthin but pimp sickness.

 **DEAN  
** Pimp sickness?

 **SAM  
** Yeah.

 **DEAN  
** God, no.

 **SAM  
** Yeah.

 **DEAN  
** I don't even know what tha fuck dat is.

 **SAM  
** Okay. Some cultures believe dat certain spirits can infect tha livin wit a gangbangin' finger-lickin' disease, which is why they stopped displayin bodies up in houses n' started takin dem off ta funeral cribs.

 **DEAN  
** Okay, git ta tha phat stuff.

 **SAM  
** Symptoms is you git anxious...

 **DEAN  
** Yeah.

 **SAM  
** Then scared, then straight-up scared, then yo' ass gives out. Sound familiar?

 **DEAN  
** Yeah yo, but Sam, we aint peeped a pimp up in weeks.

 **SAM  
** Well, I doubt you caught it from a pimp. Look, once a spirit infects dat first person, Pimp sicknizz can spread like any sicknizz all up in a cold-ass lil cough, a handshake, whatever n' shit. It aint nuthin but like tha flu fo'sho. Now, Frank O'Brien was tha straight-up original gangsta ta die, which means da thug was probably tha straight-up original gangsta infected. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. Patient zero.

 **DEAN  
** Our straight-up own outbreak monkey.

 **SAM  
** Right. Git this, Frank was up in Maumee over tha weekend yo, but it ain't no stoppin cause I be still poppin'. Softbizzle tournament. Which is where he must have infected tha other two suckas.

 **DEAN  
** Were they gamecocks?

 **SAM  
** Cornjerkers.

 **DEAN  
** So, pimps infected Frank yo. Dude passed it on ta tha other muthafuckas n' I gots it from his corpse?

 **SAM  
** Right.

 **DEAN  
** So now what, I have 48 minutes before I go crazy n' mah ass stops?

 **SAM  
** Mo' like 24.

 **DEAN  
** Super.

 **SAM  
** Yeah.

 **DEAN  
** Well, why me son, biatch? Why not yo slick ass, biatch? I mean, you gots hit wit tha spleen juice.

 **SAM  
** Yeah, um, you peep Bobby n' I gots a theory bout dat like a muthafucka. Turns up all three suckas shared a cold-ass lil certain, uh, personalitizzle type. Frank was a funky-ass bully. Da other two suckas, one was a vice principal, tha other was a funky-ass bouncer.

 **DEAN  
** Okay.

 **SAM  
** Basically, they was all dicks.

 **DEAN  
** So you sayin I be a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dick?

 **SAM  
** Fuck dat shit, no, no. It aint nuthin but not just dis shit. All three suckas used fear as a weapon, n' now dis disease is just returnin tha favor.

 **DEAN  
** I don't scare people.

 **SAM  
** Dean, all our phat asses do is scare people.

 **DEAN  
** Okay, well then, you a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dick like a muthafucka.

 **SAM  
** Apparently, I be not.

 **DEAN  
** Whatever n' shit. How tha fuck do we stop it?

 **SAM  
** We gank tha pimp dat started all all dis bullshit. Us dudes do that, tha disease should clear up.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass thankin Frankz hoe?

 **SAM  
** Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck knows why she capped her muthafuckin ass, you know, biatch? Yo, what tha fuck is you bustin waitin up here, anyway?

 **DEAN  
** (Looks up all up in tha hotel) Our roomz on tha fourth floor.

Sam looks n' shakes head.

 **DEAN  
** It's...it’s high.

 **SAM  
** I be bout ta peep if I can move our asses down ta tha first.

 **DEAN  
** Thanks.

 **SAM  
** Sure.

Dean climbs tha fuck into tha Impala n' looks at donuts.

INT yo. HOTEL ROOM-DAY

Dean sits at table wit book up in front of his muthafuckin ass. Stares at wall clock tickin loudly up in tha background. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Goes back ta readin n' starts coughin when da perved-out muthafucka sees disturbin images. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sees lyrics dat seem ta be poppin' off ta his ass n' starts ta panic. Irritatingly looks back all up in tha clock.

Scene fades ta black wit sound of suttin' breakin up in tha background.

Sam comes tha fuck into room, sees fucked up clock on floor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Dean is on tha sofa drankin brew.

 **SAM  
** Everythang all right?

 **DEAN  
** Oh,yeah. Just peachy. Find anything?

 **SAM  
** Yeah, Jessie O'Brienz body was cremated, so I be pretty shizzle she aint our pimp. Yo, quit pickin at dis shit. How tha fuck you feeling?

 **DEAN  
** Awesome. It aint nuthin but sick ta have mah head on tha choppin block again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I almost forgot what tha fuck dat feels like.

 **SAM  
** Yeah.

 **DEAN  
** It aint nuthin but freakin delightful.

 **SAM  
** We bout ta keep looking.

Dean starts ta cough.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass aiiight, biatch? Hey!

Dean starts ta choke.

 **SAM  
** Dean.

Dean is gaggin over tha sink where da perved-out muthafucka spits up a wood chip.

 **SAM  
** We've been straight-up ignorin tha freshest clue our crazy asses have, you, biatch.

 **DEAN  
** I don't wanna be a cold-ass lil clue.

 **SAM  
** Da abrasions, this, tha disease, itz tryin ta tell our asses something.

 **DEAN  
** Tell our asses what, wood chips?

 **SAM  
** Exactly.

EXT. OUTSIDE THE LUMBER MILL-DAY

Dean looks all up in tha mill apprehensively.

 **DEAN  
** I aint goin up in there.

 **SAM  
** I need backup, n' you all I've got. Yo ass is goin in, Dean.

 **DEAN  
** (Takes a thugged-out drank of whiskey) Letz do all dis bullshit. It be a lil spooky, aint it?

Sam handz Dean a gun.

 **DEAN  
** Oh, I aint carryin dis shit. It could go off. I be bout ta playa tha flashlight.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass do that.

INT. INSIDE THE LUMBER MILL - DAY

EMF goes off up in tha background.

 **DEAN  
** EMFz not gonna work wit me around, is it?

 **SAM  
** Yo ass don't say. Come on. Wait...(startlez Dean). "To Frank. Love, Jessie." Frank O'Brienz ring.

 **DEAN  
** What tha hell was Frank bustin here?

 **SAM  
** No idea.

Walks tha fuck into a room full of lockers where they hear rustling. Sam opens a locker n' Dean screams afta bein startled by a cold-ass lil cat.

 **DEAN  
** That was freaky dawwwwg! (Sam strutts away) Wait.

 **SAM  
** (Lookin at a ID card) Luther Garland.

 **DEAN  
** (Sees drawin on table) Yo, dis is uh...this is Frankz hoe.

 **SAM  
** Plot thickens.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah yo, but tha fuck into what?

Dean tears off tha drawin n' machines turn on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Lookin round da perved-out muthafucka sees suttin' up in tha corner n' shit. Sam looks at Dean n' sees his ass lookin behind him, tha pimpin' muthafucka turns round n' sees tha same ol' dirty thang.

 **SAM  
** Yo dawwwwg! (Turns round n' sees Dean hustlin up tha mill)

Sam blasts tha apparizzle n' goes afta Dean whoz ass is hidin behind tha Impala takin another drink.

 **SAM  
** Guess we gots tha right place.

 


	4. ACT THREE

INT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SHERIFF’S STATION-DAY

 **DEPUTY LINUS  
** (Handz folda ta Sam) This is tha Garland file. (Sees Dean swaying) Is he...drunk?

 **SAM  
** No. Deputy, accordin ta this, Luther Garlandz cause of dirtnap was physical trauma. What do dat mean?

 **DEPUTY LINUS  
** Da muthafucka took a dirt nap 20 muthafuckin years ago, before mah time. Sorry.

 **SAM  
** Then can we rap ta tha sheriff?

 **DEPUTY LINUS  
** Um, he up sick todizzle.

 **SAM  
** Well, if you peep him, will you have his ass call us, biatch? We stayin all up in tha Bluebird. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Mind if I take this?

 **DEAN  
** Know what, biatch? Yo ass is phat.

 **DEPUTY LINUS  
** Thanks. Um, y-you too, I guess.

 **SHERIFF BRITTON (Over tha intercom)  
** Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck was that?

 **DEPUTY LINUS  
** It’s uh, dem STD muthafuckas.

 **SHERIFF BRITTON  
** What did they want?

 **DEPUTY LINUS  
** A file, Luther Garland's. Sheriff?

Inside Sheriff Britton’s crib.

 **(VOICE OVER) SHERIFF BRITTON  
** They know. They know. They know what tha fuck you did, n' they gonna make you pay.

INT. PEACEFUL PINES ASSISTED LIVING-NIGHT

Sam & Dean is struttin inside. Dean is startled by a resident dat they bump tha fuck into up in tha hallway.

 **DEAN  
** This aint gonna work. Come on, these badges is fake. What if we git busted? We could git all up in jail.

 **SAM  
** Dean, shh! Calm down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Deep breath, aiiight, biatch? (Dean takes a thugged-out deep breath.) There, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Yo ass feel better, biatch? (Dean shakes his head no.) Just come on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Don't scratch.

 **SAM  
** Mista Muthafuckin Garland. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yo uh, I be Agent Tyla n' shit. This is Agent Perry, STD. We'd like ta ask you all dem thangs bout yo' brutha Luther.

  1. **GARLAND  
** Let me peep some I.D.



**SAM  
** Certainly.

 **DEAN  
** Those is real, obviously. I mean, whoz ass would pretend ta be a STD agent, huh, biatch? Thatz just nutty.

  1. **GARLAND  
** What do you wanna know?



**SAM  
** Uh, well...accordin ta this, yo' brutha Luther took a dirt nap of physical trauma. (Mista Muthafuckin Garland scoffs)

 **SAM  
** Yo ass don't agree.

  1. **GARLAND  
** Fuck dat shit, I don't.



**SAM  
** Well, then, what tha fuck would you call it?

  1. **GARLAND  
** Don't matta what tha fuck a oldschool playa thinks.



**SAM  
** Mista Muthafuckin Garland. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Us playas just tryin ta git tha real deal on yo' brutha n' shit. Please.

  1. **GARLAND  
** All Y'all was scared of Luther n' shit. They called his ass a monsta n' shit. (FLASHBACK) Dude was too big, too mean-looking. Just too different. Didn't matta da thug was tha kindest playa I eva knew. Didn't matta he'd never hurt no one. (END FLASHBACK) All dem playas failed Luther n' shit. I was one of dem wild-ass muthafuckas. I was a widower wit three lil' 'uns. And I holla'd at mah dirty ass there was not a god damn thang I could do.



**SAM  
** Mista Muthafuckin Garland, um...do you recognize dis biatch?

  1. **GARLAND  
** It aint nuthin but Jessie O'Brien. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Her dude, Frank, capped Luther.



**SAM  
** How tha fuck do you know that?

  1. **GARLAND  
** All Y'all knows. They just don't rap bout dat shit. (FLASHBACK) Jessie was a receptionist all up in tha mill. Biatch was always real sick ta Luther, n' dat schmoooove muthafucka had a cold-ass lil crush on her n' shit. (END FLASHBACK) But Frank didn't like dat shit. And when Jessie went missing, Frank was shizzle dat Luther had done suttin' ta her n' shit. Turns up tha oldschool gal capped her muthafuckin ass yo, but Frank didn't give a fuck dis shit. (FLASHBACK OF LUTHER BEING DRAGGED) They found Luther wit a cold-ass lil chain wrapped round his neck. Dude was dragged up n' down tha stretch outside dat plant till da thug was past dead as fuckin fried chicken.



**DEAN  
** And O'Brien was never arrested?

  1. **GARLAND  
** I screamed ta every last muthafuckin cop up in town. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. They didn't wanna look tha fuck into Frank. Dude was a pillar of tha hood. My fuckin brutha was just tha hood freak.



**SAM  
** Yo ass must have hated Frank O'Brien.

  1. **GARLAND  
** I did fo' a long-ass time yo, but gamez too short fo' hate, son. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. And frank wasn't thankin straight. His hoe had vanished, da thug was terrified. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! A damn shame dat schmoooove muthafucka had ta put Luther all up in tha same yo, but...thatz fear. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. It spreadz n' spreads.



EXT. PEACEFUL PINES - NIGHT

 **DEAN  
** Now we know what tha fuck these are, road rash. And I be guessin Luther swallowed some wood chips when da thug was bein dragged down dat road.

 **SAM  
** Makes sense. Yo ass is fuckin wit his fuckin lil' dirtnap up in slow motion.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah well, not slow enough, huh, biatch? Say we burn some bones n' git me healthy.

 **SAM  
** Dean, it won't be dat easy as fuck .

 **DEAN  
** Fuck dat shit, no, it'll be dat easy as fuck . Why wouldn't it be dat easy as fuck ?

 **SAM  
** Luther was road-hauled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! His body was ripped ta pieces. Dude was probably scattered all over dat road. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Therez no way we gonna find all tha remains.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass is kiddin mah dirty ass.

 **SAM  
** Look, we'll just gotta figure suttin' else out.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass know what, biatch? Screw this.

 **SAM  
** Whoa, whoa, whoa. Dean.

 **DEAN  
** Come on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Fuck dat shit, I mean, come on, Sam. What is our phat asses bustin?!

 **SAM  
** Our thugged-out asses hustlin a pimp.

 **DEAN  
** A pimp, exactly dawwwwg! Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck do that?

 **SAM  
** Us.

 **DEAN  
** Us, biatch? Right. And dat Sam, dat is exactly why our lives suck. I mean, come on, our crazy asses hunt monsters muthafucka! What tha hell?! I mean, aiiight people, they peep a monster, n' they run. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. But not us, no, no, no, we -- we search up thangs dat wanna bust a cap up in us. Yeah, biatch? Huh, biatch? Or smoke us muthafucka! Yo ass know whoz ass do that, biatch? Crazy-Ass playas biaaatch! We...are crazy biaaatch! Yo ass know, n' then there be a tha shitty diner chicken n' then tha skeevy motel rooms n' then tha truck-stop waitress wit tha bizarre rash. I mean, whoz ass wants dis game, Sam, biatch? Huh, biatch? Seriously, biatch? Do you straight-up like bein stuck up in a cold-ass lil hoopty wit me eight minutes a thugged-out day, every last muthafuckin single day, biatch? I don't be thinkin so! I mean, I drive too fast. And I dig tha same five mixtapes over n' over n' over again, a-and I rap along. I be buggin, I know dis shit. And you --yo ass is gassy dawwwwg! Yo ass smoke half a funky-ass burrito, n' you git toxic! I mean, you know what, biatch? (tosses Sam tha keys) Yo ass can forget dat shit.

 **SAM  
** Whoa, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. where is you going?

 **DEAN  
** Stay away from me Sam, aiiight, biatch? Cause I be done wit dat shit. I be done wit tha monstas n' -- n' -- n' tha hellhoundz n' tha pimp sicknizz n' tha damn apocalypse. I be out. I be done. Quit.

Deans is struttin when dat schmoooove muthafucka hears growlin behind his muthafuckin ass.

INT yo. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

 **SAM  
** I looked everywhere fo' you, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. How tha fuck tha hell did you git here?

 **DEAN  
** Ran. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. What do our phat asses do now, biatch? I gots less than four minutes on tha clock. I'ma die, Sammy.

 **SAM  
** Yeah, yo ass is. (Dean looks puzzled) Yo ass is goin back.

 **DEAN  
** Back?

 **SAM  
** Downstairs Dean, hell. It aint nuthin but bout damn time, like a muthafucka. Truth is, (Sam turns ta Dean wit yellow-eyes) You've been a real pain up in mah ass. (Throws Dean against wall wit a hand gesture)

 **DEAN  
** No! Yo ass git outta mah brother, you evil lil hustla of a funky-ass biiiatch!

 **YELLOW-EYED SAM  
** No onez possessin me, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. This is what tha fuck I be goin ta become. This is what tha fuck I wanna become. Therez not a god damn thang you can do bout dat shit. (Starts ta choke Dean)

 **SAM  
** Yo, hey, hey, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Dean.


	5. ACT FOUR

EXT. OUTSIDE LUMBER MILL-DAY

Sam is chillin on tha Impala as a cold-ass lil hoopty drives up.

 **BOBBY  
** Howdy, Sam.

 **SAM  
** Yo, Bobby. Thanks fo' comin so quick.

 **BOBBY  
** Wherez Dean?

 **SAM  
** Uh, home sick.

Scene shifts ta Dean chillin inside tha hotel watchin TV.

 **DEAN  
** (Sees Pokey bein lassoed n' dragged) Oh, dis aint helping.

Back ta tha lumber mill.

 **BOBBY  
** So, have his hallucinations started yet?

 **SAM  
** Yeah, all dem minutes ago.

 **BOBBY  
** How tha fuck our phat asses bustin on time?

 **SAM  
** We saw tha coroner bout 8:00 a.m. Mondizzle morning, so, uh...just under two hours. What bout yo slick ass, biatch? Yo ass find anything?

 **BOBBY  
** This uh, encyclopaedia of spirits dates ta tha Edo period. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! (Gives Sam a funky-ass book wit Japanese text)

 **SAM  
** Yo ass can read Japanese?

 **BOBBY  
** (Answers up in Japanese)

 **SAM  
** Guess so, show-off.

 **BOBBY  
** Anyway, dis book lists a kind of pimp dat could be our muthafucka. It uh, infects playas wit fear. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. It aint nuthin but called a Buru Buru.

 **SAM  
** It say how tha fuck ta bust a cap up in it?

 **BOBBY  
** Same as usual. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Burn tha remains.

 **SAM  
** Wonderful naaahhmean, biatch? Uh...is there a Plan "B"?

 **BOBBY  
** Well, tha Buru Buru is born of fear. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Hell, it is fear. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. And tha lore say we can bust a cap up in it wit fear.

 **SAM  
** So we gotta scare a pimp ta dirtnap?

 **BOBBY  
** Pretty much.

 **SAM  
** How tha fuck tha hell we gonna do that?

Back all up in tha hotel room, Dean’s cellphone rings.

 **DEAN  
** Hey.

 **SAM  
** Yo dawwwwg! So, uh, just ride up tha trip, aiiight, biatch? Yo ass is -- you gonna be fine. We gots a plan.

 **DEAN  
** What tha fuck iz it?

 **SAM (Voice on phone)  
** Uh, just a phat plan, all right, biatch? Hang up in there.

Back all up in tha mill.

 **BOBBY  
** This be a shitty plan.

 **SAM  
** Yeah, tell me bout dat shit.

 **BOBBY  
** I know I holla'd, "scare tha pimp ta dirtnap" but this?

 **SAM  
** Yo, you gots a funky-ass betta idea, I be listening.

Sam entas tha mill when a hand comes up behind a glass window dat shows Luther’s reflection.

Meanwhile, back all up in tha hotel, Dean starts ta hear barking. Da door rattlez then breaks off its hinges.

 **DEAN  
** Sheriff, biatch? (Sees glock up in Sheriff’s hand) What is you bustin?

 **SHERIFF BRITTON  
** Why is you lookin tha fuck into Luther Garlandz dirtnap?

 **DEAN  
** (Sees blood on Sheriff’s right arm) Yo, hey, you -- you sick. Yo ass is sick. Yo ass is sick, all right, biatch? Just -- just like me, aiiight, biatch? Yo ass gots ta chillax.

 **SHERIFF BRITTON  
** (Hits Dean) Frank O'Brien was mah playa yo, but it ain't no stoppin cause I be still poppin'. So he done cooked up a mistake. So I didn't bust his muthafuckin ass. So what, biatch? And you gonna brang me down over that?! Fuck dat shit, sir. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. (Points glock at Dean but Dean swats it away)

Fight ensues.

 **SHERIFF BRITTON (VOICE OVER)  
** They know what tha fuck you done did.

 **SHERIFF BRITTON  
** (Starts ta hyperventilate) Git away from me!

 **DEAN  
** Al, you gots ta quit trippin' out!

 **SHERIFF BRITTON  
** Step back! (Is havin a ass attack)

 **SHERIFF BRITTON (VOICE OVER)  
** They know...

At tha lumber mill.

 **BOBBY (OVER THE WALKIE TALKIE)  
** Any luck?

 **SAM  
** I don't give a fuck whatz wrong, Bobby. Last time his schmoooove ass came right at us. It aint nuthin but almost like he's, uh...like he trippin like a muthafucka. (Puts down shotgun)

 **BOBBY  
** So now what?

 **SAM  
** I guess I gots ta make his ass mad salty. Yo, Luther playa! (Start ta tear up drawings. Machines turn on) Come on, Luther playa! Where tha hell is yo slick ass, biatch? What is you waitin for, biatch? (Turns round n' sees Luther)

INT yo. HOTEL

Dean is chillin on tha bed scratchin his thugged-out arms. Boy it's gettin hot, yes indeed it is. Hears again n' again n' again what tha fuck Sam holla'd durin his hallucination earlier.

 **SAM (VOICE OVER)  
** Yo ass is goin back. It’s bout damn time like a muthafucka yo. Hahahaha.

Hears barking. Looks down on his thugged-out lil' peep n' sees suttin' on tha floor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Picks it up n' sees it’s tha Bizzle.

 **LITTLE GIRL  
** Yea muthafucka, Dean.

 **DEAN  
** Huh, no! No!

 **LITTLE GIRL  
** Yes muthafucka! It aint nuthin but me, Lilith. (Embraces Dean) Oh, I missed you all muthafuckin day. It make me wanna hollar playa! It aint nuthin but time ta go back now, nahmeean?

 **DEAN  
** (Moves away from Lilith) Yo ass-yo ass aint real!

 **LILITH  
** Whatz tha matter, Dean, biatch? Don't you remember all tha funk you had down there, biatch? Yo ass do remember n' shit. 4 months is like 40 muthafuckin years up in hell. Like doggy years. And you remember every last muthafuckin second.

 **DEAN  
** (Clutches his chest) Yo ass aint real.

 **LILITH  
** It don't matter n' shit. Yo ass is still gonna take a thugged-out dirt nap. Yo ass is still gonna burn.

 **DEAN  
** Why me son, biatch? Why'd I git infected?

 **LILITH  
** Silly goose. Yo ass know why, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Listen ta yo' ass.

 **DEAN  
** Whu...?

 **LILITH  
** Baboom, baboom, baboom, baboom.

Back all up in tha mill, Sam is fightin Luther’s spirit, n' I aint talkin bout no muthafuckin Jack Daniels neither. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Scene shifts ta hotel room wit Lilith tauntin Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Back again n' again n' again ta tha mill where Sam manages ta wrap tha chain round Luther’s neck.

 **SAM  
** Bobby, punch dat shiznit son!

Bobby floors tha Impala n' pulls Luther’s spirit across tha road until da ruffneck disappears. At tha same time Dean recovers up in tha hotel room.


	6. ACT FIVE

EXT. MIDDLE OF NOWHERE - DAY

 **DEAN  
** So you muthafuckas road-hauled a pimp wit a cold-ass lil chain?

 **SAM  
** Iron chain etched wit spell work.

 **DEAN  
** Hmm, thatz a freshly smoked up one.

 **SAM  
** Dat shiznit was what tha fuck da thug was most afraid of. Dat shiznit was pretty brutal, though.

 **DEAN  
** On tha upside, I be still kickin it, so uh, go crew!

 **SAM  
** Yeah yo. How tha fuck you feeling, by tha way?

 **DEAN  
** Fine.

 **BOBBY  
** Yo ass sure, Dean, biatch? 'Cause dis line of work can git wack freaky.

 **DEAN  
** I be fine. Yo ass wanna go hunting, biatch? I be bout ta hunt. I be bout ta bust a cap up in anything.

 **BOBBY  
** Awwww, he adorable. I gots ta git outta here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Yo ass thugs drive safe.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass too, Bobby. Yo, props.

Bobby drives off.

 **SAM  
** So uh...so, what tha fuck did you see, biatch? Near tha end, I mean.

 **DEAN  
** Oh, besides a cold-ass lil cop whoopin mah ass?

 **SAM  
** Seriously.

Dean looks at Sam n' sees a yellow flash up in his wild lil' fuckin eyes.

 **DEAN  
** Howla monkeys. Whole roomful of dem wild-ass muthafuckas. Those thangs creep tha hell outta mah dirty ass.

 **SAM  
** Right.

 **DEAN  
** Fuck dat shit, just tha usual stuff, Sammy. Nothang I can’t handle.


End file.
